I? Am the Drunk whisperer...

I really do believe that God has a plan.

My plan this morning was to ride my bike to work (taking a change of clothes) and then go to Martini Monday after my shift since I'm off tomorrow. 

See, background:  I have a couple rules about drinking that I don't bend. 

1. I do not drink within 12 hours of a shift.  Ever.  I just don't ever want to worry if I had too much or that I might be hungover at work or something (though my days of drinking to a hangover are long since over, I think)

2. I never, ever, ever have even one drink if I plan to drive.  Ever.

I've seen what happens to the people I love and the people around them when they drink and drive.  Saw some pretty awful stuff happen to people I loved when I was young that was a direct result of them drinking and driving.  And I just won't do it.

So -- if I wanted to have a martini or two after my shift, I needed to ride my bike to work and then ride my bike to the pub and then ride my bike home from the pub. 

However, this morning, it was raining.  And then I remembered that the forecast was that it was supposed to rain all day.  So, I drove to work and intended on going to the pub after and just eat dinner and hang out and not drink alcohol.

That's what I did.  We had a good time.  My orientee is currently gestating, so she wasn't drinking either and we just had dinner and then some of the usual Martini Monday crowd arrived and I ended up hanging out a bit later than it seemed I would.

Then it was time to head home.  I texted the Rickster to let him know I was on my way.

I turned from a side street onto the main road here by me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman off in a grassy area flop over on her back.  On the ground.  In the rain.  I went slow to see if anyone was with her.

She was alone.

Shit.

So, I turned around and came back and as there was very little traffic, I called the Rickster to let him know I'd be longer than I thought, that, apparently, I am never off duty.

I pulled my car up next to her and put on my emergency lights.

She lay, flat on her back, saying, "Ahhh aaaiiight, Ahhhh 'kay".  Drunk to English translation: I'm alright.  I'm ok.

I laughed.

"Oh honey.  You are so far from ok."

I got out of my car and came around to where she was and she tried to get up.  When she finally got to her feet, she nearly fell over again.  I made her sit on the bus bench.  I tried to figure out why she was alone (she was obviously not homeless).  "Don't you have any friends?  What are you doing out here this drunk all by yourself?"

(slurred, but translatable due to my many years as an ER nurse and by virtue of being the granddaughter of Dirty Gert, the town drunk): "I left them.  I'm going home."

I tried to see if she had a cell phone so we could call someone to come get her.  There was no way in hell I was going to call police or EMS and let her end up in my ER (even if I was off duty) just because she was drunk.

She didn't have a cell with her, she said.  She kept trying to get up off the bus bench and walk and nearly took us both into the busy road. Even though there wasn't a lot of traffic at that moment, it's a generally busy road and people drive on it much faster than the posted 40mph.  Also, I was worried she'd fall over and crack her skull.

Finally, I just got her to tell me where she lived, she lived in an apartment complex less than a mile from where we were. 

I poured her into my car and drove her there and then got her inside the lobby door of her complex. 

I'm going to assume she got into her apartment.  If she didn't, the worst it could be is that she passes out on the floor, inside the lobby.

Had I ridden my bike, as I had planned, I'd have been pedalling my ass home an entirely different way and would not have seen her or been able to get her home.  I guess God was looking out for this chick.

SO, night shift.  For not having to deal with this sad, lonely, drunk chick tonight?  You're welcome.